I have sadly been binge watching Grey's Anatomy for the past month (I don't know why I did this to myself) and as I'm watching- the character Calli (a successful, female, orthopedic surgeon who came from a very wealthy, collectivistic and religious family culture) is struggling with identifying as a lesbian and how her family is reacting to this news. When her father originally found out, he denied it, had the entire family ignore her, and took away her trust fund.
She had to learn to survive without the many privileges she had growing up in a wealthy family. It affected her relationship, and her career; she started to understood what it was like to have to think about what she could and couldn't afford for dinner, how many extra shifts she needed to pick up in order to pay for rent, etc.
When her father finally came to see her, with the intention to "pray the gay away" and demand her to move back home with them, she felt even more powerless. She experienced internalized oppression, microaggression, and microinvalidation from this challenge. She was made to believe she was a lesser person for being a lesbian- even though she has (and still was) accomplishing so much.
It was troubling to see Calli's father's total disregard for all of her accomplishments due to her new sexual orientation. The idea that the entire family ignored and shunned her because of his thinking and belief was saddening. In order for this challenge to turn into a greater opportunity, I believe her father needed to understand that his daughter was exactly the same person he raised and loved and held the same religious and familial beliefs he instilled in her. The only difference is the gender of the people she's attracted to. With this change of perspective and this understanding, the father can then mend his relationship with her as well as the her relationship with the rest of the family. This understanding will also help Calli overcome the challenges she was facing.
Thankfully, Calli's girlfriend talked to her father and reminded him that she hasn't changed (with a very meaningful and personal story about her father and herself) and helped him understand this change that has occurred and accept it. He made up with Calli and thing returned to "normal".
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteGrey's Anatomy is one of my favorite shows and do not blame you for binge watching something that is so captivating in its storytelling. Calli is one of my favorite characters since she has survived through so much growing up as a lesbian where her family culture is different from who she chooses to be with. This is huge for the father to be able to understand that his daughter is the same person with so much accomplishments even though she preferred women. I wonder how much of a "normal" life she returns to especially due to her future life choices and how her dad feels about it. I do not want to spoil any of the future episodes for you depending on what season you are on.
Hi Amy,
ReplyDeleteI love Greys Anatomy! I remember this episode and I think it is an accurate representation of what the LBGT community may experience. In this case, Calli's Dad did come around and accept her in the end and was able to move forward in their relationship. Hopefully this episode helped some families understand how to handle a situation like this and better support their loved one so they do not experience the same feelings Calli and her Dad felt.
Thank you for sharing,
Brianna
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI've never seen Grey's Anatomy, so thank you for sharing this story! It's interesting that the show brought this issue to light. I also noticed that while her father was biased and discriminating against her, she had to live the life of someone who "struggles" instead of how she used to live as a wealthy person. While the show may not have focused on this heavily, I'm sure the character realized aspects classism that she had not understood before.
Tara